Silent screams of the heart

Dimitri I am the biggest hypocrite in the world. But then again, isn’t everyone ? Why is...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 15:06:40 +1000

Dimitri

I am the biggest hypocrite in the world.
But then again, isn’t everyone ?

Why is it that people who are in love act crazy ? They have the most bewildering ideas, the most impossible scenarios playing out in their heads, imagining a future that may never come.

I’ll admit, I used to hate seeing those stars in someone else’s eyes, the way they had some idiotic smile plastered across their face for something that wasn’t might not have even been real.

The sad thing is, you don’t even notice that you’re being crazy.
All of a sudden, it hits you without even realizing it and suddenly, everybody around you starts to get moody, depressing,dark.

“It’s not real D. Just a delusional dream.”

“Remember to stay grounded D.”

“I don’t think she thinks of you in that way man.”

Alex’s words of wisdom have never hurt so much, cut so deep; normally I agree with them, as cynical as they are, they are real and honest, all of the things that I fail to be sometimes, forever picturing the Eden of the world in place of this twisted limbo between Heaven and Hell we’re stuck in.

Maybe that’s why they hurt ?

The best insults are always the truth, because it’s undeniable in the end.

I shake my head like a five year old, unwilling to believe that he’s right.

“No. You just can’t see it, it’s there. Tani and me have something.”

Alex looks at me sadly.

“D, I can’t help you with this. You need to realize that there’s nothing to see.”

I see myself in my own body, and my mind tells me I’m acting like an imbecile.

But for some reason, I don’t pay any attention to it and keep shaking my head at Alex.

Alex, who never says anything unless he’s 100% sure.

I see myself being stupid, but half my mind is telling me Alex is just being pissy because he’s recently lost this particular game, because he’s jealous, because of a million other crazy reasons that make scary perfect sense.

Logic tells me it’s because he doesn’t want to see me crash and burn like he did, but something else is screaming at me that he’s wrong, that he has to be wrong.

What’s wrong with me ?

Tonight’s epiphany; there’s no point in being scared. Just go for it, and if it...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 00:07:21 +1000

Tonight’s epiphany; there’s no point in being scared. Just go for it, and if it doesn’t work, be thankful that you weren’t going to be stuck in something that you would have regretted.

I always knew Dimitri was loving and caring, but I’d always hesitated in showing anything but my perfectionist image to him, determined to never let his opinion of me fall anything below the archer who always aimed high and never missed.

He was always so open, so brave, so carefree. Never hesitating, always going for the kill even if it meant he’d tumble and fall.

I guess I have a lot to learn from him.

For so long, I’d always wanted to return that trust to him, but I’d always failed, so damn scared of him suddenly turning away in disgust.

Why ? When he’d never shied away from any of that, why ? When all he’d ever said to me were things like “Love you Tani, you crazy girl” and “Take care Tani, alright?”

Fear makes us do strange things, think stranger things.

What is it about the human mind that makes us jump to the worst conclusions when faced with...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:03:14 +1000

What is it about the human mind that makes us jump to the worst conclusions when faced with uncertainty ? Is it some kind of defence mechanism to soften the blow when it actually hits us ? Or are we all just secret pessimists deep down ? Is it because we all understand our darkest flaws and know everyone else has to have the same issues ?

Mend my pride baby, it hurts. Time heals a broken heart; but what fixes a broken pride ? What...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:45:09 +1000

Mend my pride baby, it hurts.

Time heals a broken heart; but what fixes a broken pride ? What could put back together a crushed ego ?

Face the world fearlessly; laugh in the face of death with the promise of being buried a...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:56:51 +1000

Face the world fearlessly; laugh in the face of death with the promise of being buried a legend.

Will we live on in the memories of those who love us ?

So we’re from different worlds. Ok, fine. I just wish we’d get over it, but due to...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:30:41 +1000

So we’re from different worlds. Ok, fine.

I just wish we’d get over it, but due to certain people being very persistent about it because it’s the only link they have, it is repeatedly shoved in my face again and again.

No, I’m not about to say that’s ok, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and that’s fine.

I just wish we could leave those worlds once in a while and go find our own place; just for a little bit.
A little slice of peace, just a little one.

That would be ok, wouldn’t it ?

He could hear her sigh as her arms wrapped around him, tracing the lines of his skin with the...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 23:59:32 +1000

He could hear her sigh as her arms wrapped around him, tracing the lines of his skin with the softest touch of a fingertip.
What are you, Desdemona?

A siren
or…
a common prostitute?